Infidelity & affairs
Healing from Infidelity and Affairs - It Is Possible
Learning of an affair is heartbreaking. The loss of trust leaves you questioning your relationship and whether you can continue forward. Honesty, trust and connection are the foundation of lasting relationships and when they are compromised, feelings of anger, pain, fear and uncertainty can overwhelm you and your partner. Though these incredibly painful feelings are completely normal, most often we hear couples say they feel alone and completely unsure of what to do next. We are trained to support you every step of the way.
Immediately upon learning of infidelity, it is common to feel rushed to make a decision about the relationship. It feels unimaginable to think you will ever trust - or be trusted - again. As a result, you may consider leaving your partner. This is not the time to make such a big decision. We can help you slow down.
You don’t have to move quickly. By slowing you down, we will help you understand everything that happened leading up to the affair, why/how it happened and make decisions about next steps that are best for you, your relationship and your family.
We know it is important for both partners to gain a better understanding of each other’s feelings. As Emotionally Focused Therapists, we are highly trained in helping you have these conversations that, when attempts at home, lead to defensiveness, more pain and unresolved conversations. We create the safe setting for you BOTH to ask your questions, share your pain, and really hear each other. Our goal is to lead you from the initial pain, through the difficult process of sharing, toward a place where you can make decisions from a place of emotional understanding.
I Discovered An Affair - What Do I Do?
Finding out that your partner was unfaithful creates overwhelming emotions. Infidelity is surprising and painful. Seeking support and confiding in family or friends can help alleviate some of the immediate pain, yet this often leads to hearing a lot of their opinions and recommendations for “what you should do.” Though their support is well intended, our couples tell us they often wish they hadn’t shared so many details with their social circle, or that they disagree with the suggestions they receive from loved ones. Our couples therapists are trained to support you in YOUR experience of this infidelity, helping you work through the fog and get clarity around your desires and your willingness and interest in healing.
We have seen countless couples commit to the healing process and, after well-supported hard work, feel closer than before. We know this is hard to believe as you read this. We won’t sugar coat the hard work it takes to spend time exploring your relationship in a new way and find openings for healing and repair. We will, though, ensure you feel held and understood by your therapist through the entire journey. We can guide you through this, if this is what you wish for your relationship.
Every relationship is different, and you likely have more questions about us, Emotionally Focused Therapy and how we can help you. Please contact us to set up an appointment so we can help you make a well informed decision about where to go from here.
Overcoming An Affair - How Can Relationship Therapy Help?
No two relationships are alike and the healing process is different between each couple. However, all humans are born with a need to connect, trust and know we matter to our partner. The Emotionally Focused Therapy approach to overcoming an affair begins with sharing your relationship story with your therapist. They will want to understand where it began, the life-struggles you’ve endured and your communication style before the affair. This sets the stage to more fully understand your relationship. It is important to know that, though your therapist will create space to facilitate accountability for hurtful decisions, your therapist won’t see either of you as a ‘bad person’. Instead, the focus will be on understanding your relationship before and during the recent events so you can create a new, stronger and more connected relationship moving forward.
Our professional relationship therapists will help you address the underlying issues that have impacted you in the past so they don’t continue into the future. These conversations often don’t go well at home and can sometimes lead to more painful interactions. We are here to help eliminate the “noise” that cloud conversations, and facilitate focused, meaningful exchanges between couples.
Infidelity doesn’t have to mark the end of a relationship. It will feel scary to trust that a stronger relationship awaits you on the other side of your therapy journey. We invite you to lean on our experience and borrow our trust in the process until you reach the point of trusting again on your own.
Can I Rebuild Trust With My Partner After An Affair? Yes.
Broken trust is often the biggest obstacle facing couples after an affair. “How can I trust him/her again?” This concern is a normal, human response. It is important to keep in mind that building and establishing trust will not be an overnight process. The commitment to rebuilding that trust will take time. In Emotionally Focused Therapy, we follow a road map to healing and, should you feel unsure of where we are, you can ask us to share our view of your healing progress. We want you to feel comfortable and experience increased trust in us and in your partner.
Infidelity and Affair Therapy in Denver, CO
Schedule an appointment with one of our relationship therapists here in Denver. We will take you through the necessary steps of support, understanding and healing.
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